I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
