i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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