i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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