we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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