Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
