return my video game
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
