At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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