Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize