how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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