what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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