She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
