need another drink. this is the easiest way
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
So many bounce houses so little time
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
