I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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