"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I intend to get homeless drunk
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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