i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
