who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
