he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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