The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Still dying that you shit outside
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
