no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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