I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
