we have officially lost it.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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