i was born a porn star she said
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
