You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
