quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
