the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm šš»š
We are so blessed
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Heās older
Like āhas a job and pays his billsā older or āstill watches porn on DVD because he canāt figure out the Internetā older?
Randomize
