she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize