We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I party with great urgency now.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
