Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
