I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
