On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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