problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
