Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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