I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
