He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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