"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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