"it" just moved
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
