the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
