I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
