im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
