And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
