Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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