So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
