is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
