We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
