I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
