I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
