my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Is it because I queefed?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize