Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Your cock deserves a montage
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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