I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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