you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
