HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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