dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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