i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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