I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
