Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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