I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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