i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
i need some magic done to my vagina
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
