found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
