Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
