idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
