I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
whose ass print is on the piano?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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