I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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